Bouncing Back From Adversity Through Owning Our Story

Right now, students, families, and educators are breathing a sigh of relief. We made it through the pandemic. Many schools are planning on returning to in-person learning in the fall. It seems like we are returning to “normal.” But are we? Let’s talk about bouncing back from adversity through owning our story.

Whether we want to admit it or not, we are forever changed as individuals, organizations, and communities by COVID. We now realize our vulnerability to unseen plagues and adaptability to unpredictable circumstances. More than that, we have experienced our strength and resilience – the ability to bounce back despite adversity.

However, in our haste for the familiar, we could miss an important step – owning our story.

Each of us has a story to tell, not just about our struggles and victories during the global trauma but also about the myriad of challenges we have faced across our lifetime – adoption, divorce, learning differences, racism – you name it.

Yes, the first step is naming it. Name that big, bad, ugly thing that you have kept hidden. Speak it out loud to someone you trust. Let them hear it and hold you as you weep.

Then frame it. Put that trauma within the context of your life. What was the impact of that event? How did it change the way you see yourself? How did it impact the way you interact with others?

Process it. How do you feel about your story? Are you sad, angry, scared, embarrassed, or relieved? Whatever you feel is okay. Identifying your emotions brings release – freedom. The big, bad, ugly no longer controls you.

Remember that naming, framing, and processing can be ongoing for weeks, months, or years. Take your time. There is no rush. The goal is healing.

Next, share it. Whether you choose to write, speak, paint, draw, sing, or dance, let your story be heard. Chances are your story is similar to someone else’s, and giving voice to it will give them the courage to do their own work.

Our stories are powerful tools for building connections. When we own our story, we increase our capacity for compassion for the adults and children in our world. Instead of hiding behind the “shoulds” that provide a false sense of order, we can embrace the beautiful mess and discover we are not alone.

Collectively, we have lived in a state of trauma for the past 18 months. Now let the healing begin. Then and only then can we grow. I don’t want to return to “normal”; I want to live the extraordinary.

Tips for helping children own their story:

• Draw or write about the big, bad thing that happened.
• Draw or write about what happened before and after the big, bad thing.
• Draw or write how it makes you feel.
• Share your story with a caring adult or friend with whom you feel safe.
• Repeat as necessary.

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