Take Good Care

In this 2018 SELchat column, Tamara Fyke of Love In A Big World shares a path through creative expression to emotional awareness, explains why teachers who can name and manage their feelings are better placed to support students, and offers tips for teaching children self-awareness. A section added below looks at teacher self care in light of recent survey research on stress and burnout.

Working through the darkness to come out into the light on the other side During the Q&A portion of a professional development session I led for approximately 100 elementary teachers and administrators this week, one of the teachers asked, “We are pouring ourselves out each day, giving and giving to the kids.  What can we do to be filled?” Her sincerity and desperation reminded me of the dozens of conversations I have had with educators over the past four months for a National Science I-Corps project related to SEL. Time and again I hear, “We believe in social-emotional learning, but we must build capacity within our teachers first before they can teach it.”  These questions and comments remind me of my own journey…

My first experiment with painting was in 1994 when I was working as a nanny. I played around with the paints that one of my kids had, and I remember feeling alive when I stroked the brush against the page. I remember being struck by the vibrance of the colors. I remember thinking that Jerry Garcia was both a singer and painter. I remember musing about the connection between music and visual art. I was moved by the paintings of Henri Matisse. My style was like his… or at least I wanted it to be if I ever had a style. Free-flowing. Abstract. Bright. Moving.

Then I abruptly stopped painting before I traveled anywhere in my soul. I felt inadequate because I was not trained as a painter. I felt frustrated because I didn’t have the supplies. More than that I was afraid; terrified of the journey into my soul. If I put on the page what I felt in my soul, I was sure to be rejected. Hidden inside was an ugliness that I couldn’t admit… shouldn’t admit. It was easier to be silent than to be honest.

Through the years, I often heard the call of the paints, brushes, and canvases. I wanted to express myself, but I criticized my self-expression before it was even a pencil sketch. “You can’t paint that. You can’t think that. You can’t feel that. You can’t. You can’t. You can’t. Bad girl!” Part of the reason for the self-chastisement was my own religiousness — don’t talk about fear or pain, just smile and everything will be okay. The other part of the reason for my self-criticism was my desire to be perfect. If I let this darkness out of my soul, I would be telling the world that I wasn’t perfect; I would be acknowledging that there was a disconnect between my internal swirl and my placid appearance.

In 2007, I joined a women’s group that studied The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. It’s a dangerous book for people who are used to hiding. Cameron calls us out and challenges us to silence the critic and find our voice. My daily journaling focused on questions and issues rather than just serving as a written record of my daily activities. I began to take time each week to play and create. Although I didn’t speak at the meetings, I was drinking in the conversation. This experience was quenching the thirstiness of my soul. After many months, I started to paint.

Over the past ten years, the way I live life has changed. I now value process and create to release what is going on inside me. It’s healthy to work through the questions, the pain and the darkness in order to come out into the light on the other side. Giving myself this space has helped me be more gracious with others, both adults and children. It has also helped me be present in their times of doubt and sadness. What a relief to know that I don’t have to have all the answers.

According to Brackett, Palomera, Mojsa, Reyes, & Salovey (2010), teachers who recognize, understand, label, express, and regulate their own emotions are less likely to burn out. Why? They are dealing with their “stuff,” and when we deal with our stuff we create the capacity within ourselves to be patient, empathetic, communicative and safe for others. It’s like the announcement from the flight attendant before take-off, “If the cabin loses air pressure, be sure to put on your own oxygen mask first before helping those seated next to you.”

I think one of the biggest obstacles as educators and parents is getting over the idea that taking care of ourselves is in some way selfish. It’s not. Giving our souls time and space to breathe helps us be better for our kids.

Whether it’s painting, journaling, joining a small group, singing, exercising, camping, seeing a counselor, dancing, hiking… I encourage you to do what you need to do. Take good care.

Tips for Teaching Kids about Self-Awareness:

• Self-awareness is knowing your strengths and weaknesses; being able to know and understand how you feel.
• Ask kids, “How is your heart today?” – This may be a new concept for them.  Encourage them to be still and listen to what is going on in their heads and in their hearts.  
• Remind them, “It’s okay, not to be okay.” – Not every day will be sunshine and roses.  It’s okay to feel sad, angry, scared, or lonely.  We just don’t want to get stuck there.
• Provide opportunities for creative expression. – Journaling, drawing, coloring, and painting are simple ways for kids to make their feelings and thoughts more tangible.
• Engage in conversation. – Be willing to ask questions and do a lot of listening.  
• Follow-up. – Check in after a few days to see how he/she is doing.  That extra effort assures them that your connection was authentic.

Hear more from Tamara Fyke of Love In A Big World at the 2019 Future of Education Technology Conference in Orlando, Florida, January 27-30. Tamara will be a featured panelist for the analyst session, Insights for Supporting SEL with EdTech, January 29 at 2 p.m.

Teacher self care in 2026: what the evidence says about stress, burnout and sustainable routines

Tamara Fyke opens above with a teacher’s question after a professional development session: educators pour themselves out each day, so what can they do to be filled? Teacher self care has since become a common topic in schools, and recent survey research gives a clearer picture of how much teachers carry and where individual habits help and where they cannot be enough. For a fuller look at burnout itself, see edCircuit’s separate article on teacher burnout.

What a 2024 national survey found

A 2024 RAND Corporation survey, led by policy researcher Sy Doan and reported by K-12 Dive, collected data in January and February 2024 from 1,479 teachers and 501 working adults, both described as nationally representative. Teachers reported frequent job-related stress or burnout at about twice the rate of other working adults, and difficulty coping with stress at about three times the rate. They worked about nine more hours per week than other professionals, a total of 53 hours, and the top stressors they named were managing student behavior, low salaries, and administrative tasks such as paperwork and evaluations. Women teachers reported more frequent stress and burnout than men. Black and Hispanic teachers were more likely than White teachers to plan to leave their jobs or the profession by the end of the 2023-24 school year, which suggests that support needs to be considered for different groups of staff. A survey of this kind shows how teachers describe their own experience at one point in time, and it cannot show what causes what.

What self care can and cannot do

Fyke argues above that taking care of oneself is not selfish, and that educators who understand and regulate their own emotions are better able to be patient and present for children. Fyke cites a 2010 study by Brackett and colleagues of 123 British secondary school teachers, which linked higher emotion regulation ability with greater job satisfaction and with a stronger sense of personal accomplishment, one component of burnout. Practices such as painting, journaling, exercise, small groups and seeing a counselor, all of which Fyke lists, are sensible and many teachers find them valuable.

The RAND findings add a second view. When the top stressors are student behavior, pay and paperwork, personal routines can relieve the strain but cannot remove its sources. Both views can hold at once: an individual teacher can look after their own wellbeing, and a school can ask which of its own demands add stress without helping students. Where stress is severe or lasting, talking with a doctor, counselor or other qualified professional is the right step, and that is not a sign of weakness.

What a school leader can decide

• Review administrative tasks and remove one that takes teachers’ time without a clear benefit for students.
• Give teachers a say in how behavior support works, since managing student behavior was among the most frequently named stressors.
• Protect a short period in the week that is free of meetings, so that routines like those Fyke describes have room.
• Treat requests for support as ordinary, and make sure staff know what counseling or employee assistance is available.

Teaching students self-awareness

Fyke defines self-awareness as knowing your strengths and weaknesses and being able to understand how you feel, and the tips include asking children how their heart is today and reminding them that it is okay not to be okay. Student wellbeing data shows why this matters. The CDC’s 2023 Youth Risk Behavior Survey results report that persistent sadness or hopelessness among high school students fell from 42 percent to 40 percent between 2021 and 2023, and among female students from 57 percent to 53 percent. The CDC adds that when young people feel connected at school, they are less likely to experience poor mental health. A few minutes of regular check-ins, a place for creative expression and a teacher who listens are within reach of any classroom, and they help build that connection. A school counselor or psychologist can advise when a student needs more than a check-in.

Fyke’s closing advice above still stands: do what you need to do, and take good care.

Further Reading

1. edCircuit – Tamara Fyke Columns
2. Education World – From Chaos to Coherence: Managing Stress While Teaching
3. EducationDive – Personalized learning remains a hot topic, but what does the groundwork look like?

More on Teacher Retention